HayleyxAnn

Poet · Mon Dec 12, 2005 6:24 pm Call Centre menu!

NEW HELPLINE.

To help us to help you with our new helpline, please note the following..
PRESS 1 for billing enquiries, followed by your phone number then the #key.
You will then be able to listen to carefully selected classical music and the never ending “please hold the line your custom is of great value to us”

PRESS 2 for the fun line, followed by your postcode and the name of your pet goldfish, if you don’t have a goldfish, piss off and don’t bother us again.

PRESS 3 for download enquiries, followed by your email address and the # key,
You will then be able to listen to the national anthem of fourteen different countries and the interminable, “please hold the line all our operators are busy” in four different languages, aren’t you the lucky one!

PRESS 4 for general enquiries, followed by your date of birth, the * key and the colour of your car; your aunt’s maiden name and the neighbours wife’s bra size,
Nosey bastards aren’t we!

If at any time you wish to speak to a sensible human being, try another number.

If you wish to speak to a female operator with PMT, and who’s just found out that her boyfriend is having a gay affair with her brother. PRESS 5, followed by the mute key.

If by now you need to take a piss, press the # key, and on your return press the same key twice to go back to the beginning and listen to this drivel all over again.

PRESS 6 for other enquiries, followed by your mobile number in reverse and the * key. You will then be transferred to our brand new state of the art call centre in
Muchagrabafukacat, somewhere in India we think, when you will be able to speak to a multi lingual post graduate student, fluent in seven languages and who has been forced to watch twenty seven episodes of Eastenders to get a better grasp of English!
AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE PISSSED OFF!!!!!

Graz · Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:19 pm

:lol:

EssexLad · Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:21 pm

:lol: :lol:

xXTaniaXx · Mon Dec 19, 2005 12:09 pm

lol .. :D